#hope this is ok for tumblr now. I did censor it.

[reneerosenqueen]

One of the illustrations I did for @fdimilethzine The leftover sale is currently ongoing. You can check out the leftover sale at Fdimilethzine(.)bigcartel(.)com ! The uncensored illustration is on Twitter. I drew the Illustration in July 2021.

[voidedaurora]

hey! quartlez just posted a video “clearing the grooming allegations” on their pasqelz channel. which i find a bit funny cause if you’re so serious about clearing your name n ppl are lying grr 😡 shouldn’t it be on your main account??

they also said working on it stressed them out (poor them 🥺 /sar) so the video isn’t super long

they said “Originally had a longer video prepared but workin’ on it stressed me out too much and ended up not likin’ it later down the line so hope this one will suffice Apologizes on the wait but didn't wanna rush anythin out”

i hope that you n everyone else affected by them are okay! 🫶🏼

I'm aware of the video and have watched it, it proves nothing, disproves nothing, flat out LIES?, etc. Starting with the most blatant lie, around 6:42 I never posted her porn/Nsfw, I'm not evil and I have no reason to do so. She claims that I deleted it but I actually don't think I've deleted a SINGLE tumblr post I've made here, I've edited posts to correct spelling, censor evidence I failed to censor while rushing, etc. But I don't think I've flat out deleted any of them? After looking for a while to figure out what she was talking about I figured out the image at least, this is a flat out lie and her trying to twist the narrative. THIS is the drawing she is talking about to my knowledge.

This is obviously NOT NSFW, Suggestive at worst. She's honestly just trying to make me look bad I guess? I've never posted cropped NSFW of hers, I don't have a reason to. Additionally, just gonna point out since she has a caption at the bottom left saying she looked for the post, I have good reason to believe SHE never looked for anything according to her own words as shown here.

Screenshot was taken on the 22nd of October

This obviously isn't groundbreaking or anything crazy but it's definitely something to note since she's making this "response" based off of things her friends have told her and interpreted from posts online At around 1:11 she talks about how she "didn't want to treat Khai differently than how I acted towards any of my other friends so they didn't feel left out" and pretty much tries to justify the way she acted around her with the fact it was how Mel and I had acted to eachother and sometimes with Khai as a group. This does NOT excuse anything, despite what she believes, acting a certain way around someone or letting certain things slide that you wouldn't "normally" would be considered SPECIAL TREATMENT and isn't ok. Letting Khai in her server early is special treatment It's fucking insane that even after your friends told you not to let khai in you'd let her in anyway Additionally she mentions briefly the "shit talking" I did about her around 0:34 and shows screenshots (i'll show them below but in higher quality + more context bc she paints em in a certain way with how they're displayed

For this one I was talking about how she was treating me throughout surgery, not shit-talking to shit talk

Again, this isn't shit-talking, this is me being upset she was treating me like caca

THESE aren't shit talking either, sure they may have been rudely worded but the context of this was when kiwi, another friend, Mel, and I were all playing monopoly and Mel had been being really mean to everyone else involved and pushing everyone's boundaries (not in the "monopoly divides friendships" trope way either)

Now this one is definitely fair, it was worded quite immaturely/meanspirited but I was just being honest with Khai at the time, Mel would constantly shit-talk about Khai to me :/

#1 is fair TO AN EXTENT, she took what I'd said as some deep dark threat, I was extremely upset at the time and DID INDEED have alot of things she'd done bottled up for her, and to me it had felt extremely unfair that I'd kept shit secret and had THAT much care for her and her career to lie for her only for her not to give less of a shit about me when I needed her, additionally I was also in the middle of a long bpd episode fueled by stress, the surgery, narcotics, and general mental illness. She took this and tried to frame it as me "blackmailing" her. Not to whip out definitions but-

By definition, blackmail is basically when you hold information above someone's head as a threat to get something else either OUT of them or force them to do something for you. This was NOT blackmail, if ANYTHING it would count as a threat, but I didn't even say this directly to her so I'm just??? For that second set of screenshots I was definitely being an ass about her, but again, all of this was out of frustration of how I WAS BEING TREATED by her All in all, all of these screenshots are WILDLY cropped and get rid of other bits of context that are honestly pretty important when viewing Moving on to the next point

She mentions how the "whole grooming thing mainly comes from the Just Dance VR video I did with Khai" this is not true and you know it! I guess she's just ignoring this whole stream

ADDITIONALLY, she mentions that I "was just mad that Kai's character looked similar to voided character because they were both blue and had antenna" no, this is not why I was upset. Sure, I was uncomfortable with the two characters looking the same, and WHEN Kaia was made initially, it was during a point of time when Khai was at her peak for copying pretty much everything I'd do, down to ocs, artstyle, ways I spoke, etc. (she doesn't do this anymore so this absolutely is not to shame her <3) It made me uncomfortable knowing that Kaia was 1. based off of Iris 2. was drawn EERILY similar to how Mel drew Iris before (even to the point where when I'd ask other people to spot who's who THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TELL) 3. The character that looked like Iris was now being shipped with the EXACT SAME one she was etc. all of those together, coupled with the apparent special treatment Khai was being given made me extremely uncomfortable, and worried. My primary concern was NOT the fact Kaia looked like Iris, its the fact she was clearly being used to fill the space where Iris USED TO BE, and was using Khai as a sort of replacement for me. Next. I think its loony that Mel is complaining about people thinking she's still obsessed with her ex as if there isn't REASONS we all think this, you redesign their characters to use as your own, flat out have stolen a couple, talk about them ALL the time in private, the first thing people get to know about you is how much you fucking hate your ex, theres the whole Honest video, the shit-posts about them, etc. There's other things I'll mention at a later date once they're public additionally. She also mentions how the "characters arent even alike anymore" but they really are still the same characters but in a different font. Not to mention the fact you've recently literally stolen 2 characters (Bronze and Frostbite) which were never yours to begin with. wild At 10:47 she says she's surprised people are shocked when she vents about her EX, OFC they are. It's been what 7 years? since yall first dated, and ANOTHER 2 years for you to move on, at least publicly. People are upset you still SHOW people these vents then rant, rave, and shittalk them as if they're still here actively doing you harm, you wish DEATH upon them to this day, aswell as any other people who wrong you. There's a difference between venting to get out feelings and venting to ""cope"" with your ex not liking you anymore and then showing these vents to people around you. The fact they were your "first love" doesn't excuse anything either. "im not friends with any minors" Highly doubt this, only reason you aren't now is because they all left you Around 12:51 she touches on the fact she's shit-talked people in her server, and possibly her friends aswell. She blames this on her old friends and people around her, while this is partially true, there have been MANY instances where she was NOT influenced or told to make fun of these people, i've shown these before but I'll show them again Randomly dming me about fanart someone made, poking fun at it

Randomly dming me about fanart someone made, poking fun at it pt.2

you get it

more

As you can see in these screenshots she's actively making fun of fanart just RANDOMLY, every single screenshot is from a different time aswell. so this behavior was ISOLATED and un-influenced at that moment. Pretty much everything past 14:30 is just her going on a weird ego stroking powertrip about people speaking out about her, you can SMELL the stick rammed up her ass just from her tone alone, she doesn't care, she never will. All yall praising her for this "response" are honestly pretty crazy and your standards are BELOW the floor atp, the glazing is insane ☹️like be so so real, she doesn't even TALK in a serious manner in the video, she starts it off by YELLING Anyway this ENTIRE video was a nothingburger, she proves nothing, she disproves nothing, there's absolutely nothing new brought to to table. Just 17 minutes of excuses, lies, and "nuh uh" Also to anon, I agree 100% she should've posted this on main even if it was absolute dog water, I dont care if you're family watches your videos, the thrusting furrys and suggestive videos were fine but the one supposedly "clearing your name" was too much, awesome Sorry about the formatting being bad, I'm tired of this girl

[salemsimsrender]

Mini Blender Tutorial: Appending Hair & Clothes onto Posed Sims

I'm so sorry this has taken me so long.

Quite a while ago, @baobeisims requested this tutorial, and I'm sorry it's taken an age but I'm in the final stretch of planning before my wedding and it's got me stressed up to my eyeballs.

But without further ado, let's go!

Step 1: Import your sim into blender and pose

For this tutorial, I'm going to use my lovely Lilith! When appending clothing, it's best to use a mostly naked/fully naked sim. It can be hella weird having nude ripped sims on your computer but trust me, it'll make this process SO MUCH EASIER and your end results better if you don't have clothing on your sims. Why is this? Any clothing applied to your sim in game is permanently attached to their mesh in blender. Meaning you cannot delete off any piece of clothing that's already there. Because of this, I recommend fully nude sims free of any clothing, jewelry or other accessories. However, fully nude sims aren't Tumblr friendly so I'm using a topless, underwear-d Lilith 🤣

Here's Lilith, imported, nodes adjusted, and posed. I won't cover how to do this here, as I already have in THIS TUTORIAL (3 parts, all linked). So let's get on to the fun

Step Two: Adding Hair

Adding hair and clothing works the exact same way as appending a prop to your sim, with a few additional steps. Like with props, export the mesh and texture for your hair, then append them in blender. For this tutorial, I'm using Lamz' Katrina hair. Just like with anything else, append all of the studio meshes:

Once you import them, it'll look a bit messy.

But that's ok we're going to fix it! Like with any appended object, delete the bone_bone_shape and the rig, so. you're only left with your sim and the studio meshes. Add in your texture nodes and adjust like we do with any object. It should look like this:

Link the materials and join the meshes into one, and you should have something like this:

But as you can see, the hair isn't aligned. To fix this, navigate to the Modifiers tab (like we did with jewelry/props) and set the object to your sim, like this:

Now her hair should be... actually on her head! 😂

Let's add some clothing then I'll show you some handy tricks I use to achieve more realism in my renders. I'm going to use the same dress I used in her render here to keep things simple. It's Evellsims' Trapped Dress.

Step Three: Adding Clothing

We'll follow the exact same steps we did with the hair. Export the mesh and texture from Sims 4 Studio and append in blender.

Just like before, it's not in line and needs the nodes adjusted. Follow the same exact steps, adjust the nodes, link materials, join, and append. After following all those steps you should have something like this:

You might be wondering why I still have a censor bar here... That's because appending clothing doesn't automatically take the same shape as your sim's body like it does in cas. (I can't show it cause Tumblr but... her tits are out 🤣 just trust me) Different framed sims will require more or less work depending on their body shape. Curvy sims will require a lot, whereas petite ones like Lilith may only require a little bit of manipulation. Additionally, some poses and clothing aren't as compatible as you'd hope. Fabric can do some weird things, so sometimes you'll have to do more or less manipulation and it's a bit of a tossup. This makes appending clothing in blender a massive job, but for certain projects it works way better than dressing your sim in cas, particularly when you want to manipulate the clothing in some way (by mimicking a breeze, or gravity, etc) or if you're a masochist like me and you want to always do more work.

Step Four: Sculpting Hair & Clothes

By far my favorite part of the render process (even though it's tedious as fuck and takes an age) is sculpting. I use sculpting to fix clothing and hair and mimic gravity and weather. Here are a few examples of what sculpting can do (other than simply making clothes fit):

To use the sculpt tool, select from this dropdown:

From the new sidebar tools, select Elastic Deform, here:

I've covered the Tumblr-sensitive bits so you can see what you'll be working with. It's not unusual to have gaps in the clothing that need filling or adjusting, like this:

Using the sculpting tool set to elastic deform, you just have to click and drag the fabric to where you want it. Be sure you're editing the clothing mesh and not your sims body! Always select the mesh you want to sculpt from your outliner panel so you don't accidentally click and drag your sims skin! Here's a before and after, make sure you're putting your cursor against the right angles.

There are a few gaps on the back of her dress too. Here they are before and after sculpting:

It takes some time and practice to get good at this, but once you do there's no limit to what you can accomplish! There are other methods that yield similar results (like shrink-wrap, but I've never gotten it to work for me) but this is my favorite and what I'm most used to. You can sculpt any mesh, so go wild!

That's all I have for today.

Homework:

Your homework is to append hair and clothing in blender and post the final result! Tag me in it too I'd love to see! & As always if you have any questions please feel free to send them through to me either with an ask or the help desk!

[satanfemme]

hello you are really funny and have good takes and I have a puppy crush on you??? can you please tell me more about your visual novel :) what is your favorite page you've drawn so far?

hehe thank u :3c this is so flattering!

since u didn't specify what u want to hear about my visual novel, I'm just gonna ramble about what's on my mind with it if that's ok :-) (and I'll share my fav pages at the end ofc)

first random thought: the novel presents the character Case as the narrator/protagonist, but I think the secret real protagonist is Dane. case is in charge for the first chapter & most of the second chapter, but in the second chapter there's a turning point where dane becomes the center of the narrative (even as the story is still told from case's POV). I think this is fun. dane is the best character, and that's an objective fact.

second random thought: this is subject to change as I continue working and drawing from different sources, but right now some of the media that's inspiring my vn are: psycholonials, echo vn, the last house on dead end street, nekromantik, interview with the vampire (tv), hardcoded, midori, homestuck, fight club (book), and hellraiser.

third random thought: I think a big thing I'm worried about is the story (once it's finished) being misinterpreted. if it gets downloaded by Anyone who isn't one of my immediate friends/followers, I think there's a good chance someone's gonna miss the point or get "the wrong thing" out of it, as is the inherent nature of art. and I try to find peace with this, especially since it'll still be many months At Least before it'll be ready for release (if not longer considering I keep bouncing between different projects). but it's a story about a violent and unhealthy sexual lesbian relationship. + it deals with themes of kink, depression/mental health, transphobia, misogyny, and people living on the fringes of society. these are all themes that interest me, especially in horror, but they're also very prone to sparking backlash especially when coming from a smaller creator. or if not backlash, then the themes being flattened by the force of fandom culture. I spend a lot of time thinking about hypothetical outcomes like "what if I get called out for romanticizing transphobia, because I depict a character experiencing it" or "what if people ship case and dane (<-something that would be fine on it's own fwiw) so hard that they ignore the messier and more thematically relevant aspects of their relationship". or omg I Especially worry about "what if people see a depiction of a realistically messy kink relationship, decide it's wholly bad and evil, and therefor determine the story must be anti-kink or bad kink representation or something".

it's funny that these are the things I worry about actually, because irl I'm always watching horror that's way less sensitive or good-intentioned than my work is, and I'm always finding things to enjoy about it anyway (or often Because of the way it is - sorry for finding the horror genre interesting, flaws and all! as if it's my fault). like really and truly the internet is just a moral OCD generator. and it's my awareness of that that's pushing me to keep working on my visual novel despite my fears <3

also the most realistic outcome continues to be "like 5-10 people download it, only half of them finish it, and they just think it's like.... weird but alright".

as for my favorite page so far, it'd be one of these:

(cw for a guro image under the cut!!)

---

(the second image is censored for tumblr. & I'm hoping what's still visible doesn't get me in trouble.)

this first image is my fav cause case is both scary and kinda hot... and I'm into that. I'm not a masochist but I'd let her tie me up and beat me with her crowbar at least once. whatever. this drawing isn't technically done yet but I just need to add more filters/effects to it basically.

this second image is my fav cause it's just really pretty to look at imo. I did a more painterly style with it (different pages have completely different art styles & I don't care) and In My Humble Opinion I think it captures a really nice balance between horror/disgust and eroticism, which is what I need it to do for the scene it's in. idk what other people see in it, especially in this post where it's removed from context lol oops, but whenever I look at it I simultaneously feel the emotions "wow this is so beautiful" and dread. which is great, that's such a good combo of emotions. I love dread!! give it up for dread!

[aaagustd]

Hey I'm sorry that person was so rude to you. I did not notice you did that until they brough it up. I'm a writer too and I wanted to know the purpose of censoring tags. I have seen others do it too. Anything you care to share will help me out cus I'm new. Feel free to ignore if this is not ok to ask.

hi love! first of all, welcome to the writing community. and sure! i can explain since your ask was very respectful.

so last year when i switched blogs and started posting new stories there, the first fic i posted was flagged after a day of being up(not even a full day). it was then i found out tumblr can flag posts without someone reporting them. moots had warned me of this but i figured they were being reported by someone. however, that was not the case.

i followed their formats and i was never flagged again(until my blog got caught up in some failed tumblr experiment). you see, it takes a lot for tumblr to remove a post based on someone's report but if their bot finds it, it'll be flagged quickly. so i figured that the bot hasn't really picked up on the censoring(as of now). so there aren't any explicit words in their eyes.

once your post's been flagged, you can say goodbye to any traction unless you have a large amount of followers. it'll be hidden bc most users don't have their mature content settings turned on.

so that's why i censor. now, i could just put the warnings under the cut but that would expose people to content they don't want to consume. and i've never had a complaint about censoring until now lol. i think that person just wanted to take their frustrations out on me bc they spent more time coming up with that ask then just scrolling and ignoring.

i hope this explains everything for you. you can always reach out and ask questions if you'd like. i don't know the answer to everything but i have a lot of writing friends with experience. 💕

[cheezburgerrr]

Sometimes i think to myself maybe i should’ve never left home when i did and i always wonder what that would’ve looked like and im still curious but i know i wouldnt have so many things like i would’ve never met my partner and all of this i wouldn’t be moving to another state at the end of the year but like

what would’ve been the good parts in staying. i would still have a mother i guess but i mean she’s a horrible person so its good i dont gave her in my life but i guess i still miss her because i miss the presence of a “mother” even though a lot of the time she wasn’t one but the times she was it was really nice but it was always soured whenever i remembered and thought about how she would treat me regularly

just feeling lonely tonight and it sucks that i’ll never truly have a mother ever again and i mean i know my partners mother is there for me and i even call her mum but i just kind of hate the idea of family and her actually replacing my mother. its really weird. i have a really weird relationship with family anyway because its like i dont miss having a family per se but i do at the same times but i find it offputting and jarring to do “family things” like having a family dinner or board game/movie night because we never did those things growing up we would eat in our rooms by ourselves and i just grew up really independent and. i wish i didnt sometimes because i feel like now that im in a relationship im too dependent on my partner and i feel like im not really a person anymore without him

but i know i am because i can function without him but i hate functioning without him i just feel sluggish and like everything is in slow mo and im on autopilot and sometimes i just wish i could go back to my old life because i dont want to be an adult i just wish i was a kid again even though i was being abused i dont know i blocked a lot of it out so i dont even know anymore. maybe it was ok. i dont remember anything about my childhood all i know is i had a dog at one point when i was 3 and then we had to get rid of her because we moved house and we moved houses like a lot when i was a young kid and i still dont know why but we never got any other pets and i wasnt allowed to hang out with our neighbours kids so i had no friends growing up and one time i invited one of the neighbours kids to my house and we played and my mum got really mad at me when she got home (after she left because my grandma told my mum and she forced the other girl to go home) and told me that i would get r*ped i dont know why she said that i was only 8 years old

i hate thinking about my childhood but im not having a very good night and ill be sad if this gets flagged or taken down because im talking but i dont really know how tumblr works and what posts get taken down so im just going to censor some things because im writing these posts for myself while my counsellor is away because i dont remember what i want to talk about a lot and there are some important things i should talk about that i forget about and i think she would probably want to know about this

if anyone out there that isn’t me who is actually reading this i hope you are having a good day or night and thank you for reading everything i have to say. i hope you’re doing well i’m going to try and go to bed now and i hope i can sleep ok

i love you make sure you drink water and know that there is someone out there who cares about you

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOAOA everytime I see a censored name of the length I’m gonna assume it’s him (also unrelated but while we’re taking abt your other posts if tumblr did that to me while I was responding to you id lowk shit myself because we yap sm)

Kalos yuki supremacy….but LMAO tabieita really start slandering him like there’s no tomorrow and then the next day they see him on national tv next to Chris Prince cue their jaws dropping onto the floor

HAHAH omg a personal twt filter i need one sometimes the stuff that ends up on my feed is batshit insane like why’s James Charles here ok but wait now that you say it being called aiku sounds wrong because my first association with him is womanizer not captain of the u20 team and top notch defender HSSBHA (says a lot about aiku)

STOP I READ THAT IN A SOUTHERN ACCENT WITH THE WILD WEST MUSIC AUTOMATICALLY PLAYING but imagine everytime Reo sees a psychic type now he’s on guard like “shit are they reading my mind” (wait speaking of I forgot to mention this like three responses ago but I relatively recently (in terms of how long I’ve known pokemon) figured out reasoning behind psychic advantages/disadvantages, it’s weak to everything that’s a common fear (bug dark ghost) and effective against fighting and poison because of the “mind over matter” mentality)

LMAOO (is there an actual term for this I could’ve sworn there might’ve been but if not I’m just coining consciousness consultants instead) not only is it tabieita in every universe I guess it’s aibarou (this name…..aiba?? Baraiku?? These are all ass airou???????) PLEASE it would be funny if reader instead said “no way I know another one too! Can’t believe there’s three of us”

IGAGURI X READER IM DYINGGGF LMAOOO second arc new characters this is the boruto of the miraverse pokemon au (instead of pursuit its chase) tell me why i created that exact picture of grandpa nagi in my mind

IM CRUIGNFNFNFJSHAHA THAT WHOLE ASS DRAWING I HAD TO STOP MYSELF FROM SCREAMING IN PUBLIC THIS JS A MASTERPIECE (you’ll progressively see all of my words become caps at some point I guarantee the more we chat the more I’ll use caps) ok but HOUNDOOMS SO CUTE?? The tail wag has me crying ok but where’s gyarados…./j Barou’s hair is MAJESTIC please include this in the epilogue im gonna go frame this in my room

Ok wait SPEAKING OF VISUALS have you ever considered designing their fits….like yk how pokemon characters have a very kinda unique sense of style that fits the series? And ofc specialty trainers usually dress accordingly but imagine like pulling up one of those piccrew generators and yk….

LAMAO FR imagine instead phanpy actually managed to evolve while they’re out and Karasu just facepalms like who tf is this (as if he’s recognizable with his hair down) and readers just like my phanpy evolved!! Thanks!!

LMAOA I’m kinda imagining it’s like Misty’s psyduck except they’re both like that HAHAH stop now I’m getting hyped up for the side stories omg air yuki Aryu styling shenanigans!!! I read that as “yuki taking Aryu to get groomed at first” HSHSHSHSS anyways!! No because imagine hiori finally walks out of the safari zone like covered in mud like “phew finally that Kangaskhan was MAD” only to see half his team missing like “wait where’s swanna nidoqueen and aurorus…” cue the Jurassic park sfx that’s aurorus screaming from in the safari zone and hioris like “oh ffs” and runs back in LMAOO tabieita boy failures so real if it’s not Karasu taking an L it’s otoya ok when you first said side story one of my first ideas was yayoi Karasu childhood interactions great minds think alike

HSHSSHSH I kinda had a feeling your post was referencing our convo but I was kinda hoping not because we write sm LMAOO I’m thinking about it now and I think id lose my mind CHRIS ORINCE FANBOY OTOYA WAIT DO IT imagine it’s like todo going to that (shit I forgot her name) idols meet and greet but instead it’s otoya HAHSAHAJ

Aiku helping his teammates relieve stress (according to him) but he’s the one becoming stress instead now so he’s taking it out on everyone LMAOO pause do we have an ewc…(estimated word count)

HAHSHAHA I’m also pursuit brain rotted I’m so committed to the story now it’s not even funny

Wait…pokemon based theme to foreshadow/drop hints about pursuit (not story wise just that it exists LMAO) WAITTTTT “choose your starter and get a fic/drabble/hc(idk wtv floats your boat LMAO)” idk abt the details of what starter means what but that’s a thought for later

ISAGIS SEXY COUSIN GOODBYE but so real for that HSBSHS omg wait I bet there’s probably some edits alr floating around with the crumbs we got via that trailer

HAHSBA THE USA EAGLE SCREECH YES LMFOAOA (THIS FAR??? I’d give up /j tumblr needs a better save feature or just a not delete feature) wait..you’re right….do we even get any feather aura until nel??? Because I wonder how many people end up putting two and two together and figure out that his name means crow

Mira alpha wolf era LMAOOO BUT FR I’ve never seen a really atrocious scene of nagi (except for maybe second selection after they beat Barou and he flops onto the top bunk his face looked kinda funky but wtv it was a silly moment) so very excited!!! I’m also worried for Barou LANAO but wait the hair down scene in the trailer!! Can’t wait for more of that (Karasu when)

NOOO YOUR GOOD I would fr just jump back in your inbox and be like “I need five business days to recover from this sorry” /j and I’m ngl my memory is so ass that sometimes when you respond to things I have to scroll all the way back up to my own ask to remember what we’re talking about HSHSSHSH so trust me if you don’t remember neither do I

Also wait Kaiser in pokemon has me crying banned because he pointed a gun at ash BYE LMFAOA

- Karasu anon

LMAOOO 90% of the time *** ****** is sae the other 10% it’s rin but i feel like given context you’ll be mostly able to figure out which one it is?? i think i’m in an enemies to lovers w sae or smth so i post abt him more KRJFJSJS only other *** ****** in bllk is reo but i love him i’d never censor him 😩

KALOS YUKI MY MAN also omg wait that’s so funny especially because otoya is a prince stan so it’s basically yuki just flexing because he can FJDJFJSJ like “oh you want to bully me??? your hero is my father figure 😜😴🤫” he’s actually so sassy but in an underrated way i love him

HELP because whenever oaeu aiku goes on one of his tangents abt how he’s the captain of the u20s i giggle like ok sure bro (love how this implies i don’t have control over oaeu aiku tbh i don’t i just sit at the keyboard and let his spirit flow through me and suddenly i have 3k words of aiku bullying everyone in his mind)

YESSS THAT’S EXACTLY THE VIBE I WAS GOING FOR like reo tullia nagi and reader wearing the little cowboy hats and everything LDJFSJAJ nagi chewing on a piece of wheatgrass i’m crying 😭 omg no because reo deadass thinks reader and her aegislash are like this tik tok (i always have a tik tok on hand) so he’s just like vaguely terrified of her LMAOAOA nagi’s too lucky she’s not outing him the way he outed reo 😩 reader >>>>

CAN THEIR DUO NAME BE SHOELIVER 😭😭😭😭🤩🤩🤩🤩 pronounced like shoe-liver (english pronunciations even though barou’s name is said more like sho-ei) HAHAHA never separated fr those two have an unbreakable bond 🙏🏻 help because i could actually see reader saying that like “damn didn’t know there were so many mega houndooms roaming around??” the only reason i can think that she’d realize aiku means barou is because this arc takes place after reader and nagi go through and watch all of barou’s old league battles so she knows barou is the only other person w a mega houndoom 😩

HELPP PURSUIT BORUTO I’M CRYING deadass though it could be niko as the bug catcher just imagine that mf with a spewpa 😭 for extra connectedness (never watched naruto/boruto but isn’t it like everyone is just someone’s son or smth) maybe his spewpa is tullia’s vivillon’s offspring LFJDSJS although ig niko is kinda shy too…hold on niko as aiku’s apprentice (like the oaeu) still with tullia’s vivillon’s baby, kurona just chilling and probably with like a wailord or smth, nagiy/n’s daughter with her mother’s aegislash, and kiyora as yukimiya’s successor (since he’s a dancer and all) nagiy/n’s daughter sees kiyora and is like “WOAH you look JUST like my brother but blue” HAHAHA and then wait tbh CHARLES could be the bug catcher and maybe shidou is his mentor??? i’m crying just imagine that wedding like the groom’s side is shidou partying it up (he probably dragged sae over from fucking johto or whatever region the itoshis live in) meanwhile the bride’s side is like former champion y/n l/n, former king of kalos kenyu yukimiya, flying type gym leader tabito karasu (“uncle tabito” on her mom’s side), famous breeder tullia ferraro, corporation heir reo mikage (“uncle reo” on her dad’s side), lazy hero seishiro nagi who was the face of the efforts against team x (reader was injured and he’s the one who rescued all of the trainers while she was battling barou so he got a lot of fame), fucking otoya?? no title for him (he insists on being called big o by the kids) and renowned pokémon professor oliver aiku…literally ALL of them are lowkey judging shidou except aiku who’s like hell yeah this is great LMAOAOA

I WAS CRYINGGG MAKING THE DRAWING pls barou’s hair cracked me up second only to mr mikage’s mario ass mustache 😭 i feel like nagiy/n’s daughter would def view houndoom as just a cute cuddly puppy since that’s how houndoom treats her hence why houndoom doesn’t have any of the skull motifs or the devil tail instead she’s just giving cutie puppy (also lowkey she probably combined houndoom and nagi’s arcanine into one dog shaped pokémon since i know for a FACT that arcanine was the number one stan of those children 😩) PLS I TRIED DRAWINF GYARADOS AND GAVE UP I’M NOT ARTISTICALLY INCLINED

LMAOO so i do have clear visions of what otoya and karasu wear so i tried drawing them (also in my mind chigiri just wears tan riding pants, a rugby shirt, and riding boots since he’s an ex racer but that’s basic enough that i didn’t draw it) obviously they look silly because a) i can’t draw and b) they’re meant to be goofy pokémon verse fits but here they are!!

^ also in my mind karasu’s coat and pants are the same purpley black as his hair/honchkrow’s feathers (both for aesthetic and to distinguish him from aiku who wears a white lab coat as all professors do) but i did not feel like coloring that anyways the gist as you can see is otoya = black turtleneck + black pants + black boots probably (not skin tight necessarily but def more fitted to not get in his way when he’s doing ninja bs) whereas karasu has this long coat to kind of match the bird vibe?? also he’s almost always wearing the super heavy duty falconing gloves especially when the birds are babies because they love perching on his arm and yayoi drilled into him how much it hurts when a raptor with enormous talons divebombs onto your unprotected wrist 😭 anyways no idea what the others might wear i’ll probably try to figure it out during their introductions (also like i said excuse the artistic skills this was more meant for me to have as a visual while writing but since you asked i thought i’d share LDJFSJSJSJ)

PLSSS I CAN IMAGINE THE HIORI ONE SO WELL i feel like the yuki + aryu one would be rlly cute we could see more of gagamaru in it too…pls karasu and otoya are consistently embarrassing themselves one or the other must be taking l’s at all times it’s just equilibrium 😭 imagine otoya’s like whatever you do DON’T act like nagi that man has negative rizz and karasu’s like “well he pulled y/n ya know…” and otoya’s like “yeah wtvr she’s crazy” JFKDJDNS they slander reader and tullia sm as if they are not literally the walking definition of losers??

OTOYA AT A CHRIS PRINCE MEET AND GREET PLEASE I’M CRYING AT THE VISUALLLL he would be the one who’s like “he shook my hand i’m never washing it again” and karasu’s like bro??? help omg ik which one you’re talking about…doesn’t the idol end up liking mai more??? imagine otoya brings karasu with him and chris prince ends up loving karasu like “wow you’re yayoi’s little brother?? you have a lot of potential!!” and otoya’s in the background like THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE

i think the barou version is probably going to end up at about the same length as the sae one!! we’re at 3k ish words rn and reader is just about to meet barou soooo there’s that 😭 this one is even more ridiculous than the sae version (aiku and niko kidnap barou) but i feel like barou lends himself to crack really well and barou fans are probs less picky so i think it’s okay (also PERSONALLY i find it funny and that’s all that matters fr)

nah because we’re coming up with pursuit boruto version atp it’s like a separate fandom /hj i’m actually really excited to write it!! just need to get on my grind for a bit and then we will get to pursuit hehe

THAT’S WHAT I WAS THINKING like maybe each type is a certain trope/theme and people have to find a pokémon that has the typing they want and send it in with the character they want…like say fire is best friends to lovers and flying is angst so someone could say “talonflame with karasu” or smth and i’d write an angsty best friends to lovers fic for him ykwim…it would require more effort on participant’s parts but considering i’ll probably limit it anyways and given how involved my request responses tend to be i think it’s fair and fun!! wait i could limit it to be like “help me build a pokémon team” and only have a certain number of slots available for the team or smth and that way i don’t get quite as many reqs as i did for the 500 event so i still have free time to write my own stuff

BRO I FR JUST STARED AT MY SCREEN i’m like obsessively saving the draft now…anyways he’s literally giving isagi but cuntier (sorry to isagi fans but karasu >>>>) LMAOAAO I NEED TO SEE HIM W THE EAGLE SCREECH yk that one crow panel of him in bm vs pxg like that panel SPECIFICALLY timed with the screech it’s a must

hair down barou 🤤🤤🤤 nah because call me reo the way i’m nagi’s number one glazer /j i’ve seen SOOO much nagi hate online recently it’s crazy i know the dude bros will start waffling on abt his comeback as soon as they remember what nagi’s built like again 😭 everyone on tumblr’s posting abt how reo’s getting blamed for nagi’s downfall erm i haven’t seen a single post blaming him…i’ve seen posts saying reo isn’t a player who they’d necessarily pick as top ten in the verse which i can see…the argument is that his best position is as a sub because he can fill any spot but why put someone who can only copy an ability to 99% in a position when you can just put the og 100% there…kinda like how reo can copy sae to 99% but no one would pick reo over sae even though reo’s technically more complete 🤔 i think copy’s one of those abilities that would be op if reo was the mc but as it is i do somewhat agree that reo is better suited as a substitute given the way the manga is written even though he’s also quite talented BUT that’s not really reo hate that’s just examining decisions kaneshiro’s made?? i see a lotttt of people slandering nagi though and saying he’ll never come back and that he sucks even though he made the goal of the century…ik ego said the five revolver whatever the fuck it’s called is not reproducible but honestly i feel like that’s kind of nagi’s thing?? he consistently pulls off impossible goals which he could never do again but that’s just how he works (and why prince said he needs to work on his creativity…if he could just be the kind of player who can use his insane talent to pull off crazy plays wherever he is the way he was doing in second selection he’d be undefeatable)

wait i just went on an entire rant abt nagi slander but this edit makes me lol so i can’t even be mad KEFJSJKS HIS FACE KILLS ME 😭😭😭

kaiser in pokémon is literally just kaiser in bllk bro WOULD point a revolver at isagi ash i’m crying LMAOAAO

nah i fear i did crash out but luckily it didn’t delete my ENTIRE response so it’s all good!! HAHAAH yeahhh sometimes i have to close the draft and go back to our old convos because i’m like “wait what is this in reference to”

[themauvesoul]

Like you all had to be there in the spop trenches to truly understand. We were coming into that show off the back of vld. We (me and my gf) had been through the deepest circles of hell: Shiro’s last minute mystery husband. shiro’s last minute mystery dead BOYFRIEND. Inexplicable sheith bait in s6. Canon lance/allura, which maybe 5 people total wanted?? It was a Mess. And then we go watch spop and the first season is like. Well. You simply have to go watch it for yourself. The homoeroticism is almost comical. They defeat the s1 villain with a giant rainbow.

And like. At first we are all like ok boys strap in we got another baiter on our hands! But THEN. NATE FUCKING STEVENSON. OPENS HIS BEAUTIFUL MOUTH. and he says yeah the homoeroticism was intentional. We are laying groundwork here. And we are all like yeah yeah whatever. We’ve done this song and dance before, because show runners love lying even more than they love running shows. But we (me and my gf) keep watching the show and we’re gradually realizing that this might not be another baiter. Maybe Nate is gonna actually go for it. But you never really let yourself hope because like. Come on dude. The ONLY time they let people be explicitly, undeniably gay in a cartoon was like. Steven universe. And they canceled Steven universe BECAUSE of the gay people.

And spop had the same problem before the gay people were even textually gay, because this show was happening in the Netflix era where they kept cutting seasons in half for no particular reason. Spop basically rode the razor’s edge of cancellation from start to finish. There was a brief period of time where I was genuinely worried the show would not make it to the end.

And then. Pov you are me and my gf watching s5 via discount zoom, because the last season of spop came out in the middle of lockdown. And this is like. Fan fiction levels of homoeroticism. I feel like I’m hallucinating or some shit. And we’re scarfing handfuls of popcorn and we’re like no. No fucking way. And then the catgirl kisses the magical tall lady and I will be honest. I cried like a baby. I wept real fucking tears because. Mind you. I was watching the show up to this point like haha wouldn’t it be neat if they did it. I was CONVINCED there was no way this catgirl was gonna kiss the tall magical lady, because I know how showrunners love to lie and, more importantly, I know how execs love to censor shit. But they did it, because Nate Stevenson and everybody that worked on spop are more brave and true than any cw employee. And like. The feeling is indescribable. I could’ve deadlifted a semi truck. You all think nov 5 emotions are powerful? I could’ve done anything that night. I was like a fucking god. I wasn’t just right. I was right AND gay people kissed right on my laptop screen. And like. Multiple multiple people have said that getting that catgirl/tallgirl kiss in the show was a battle and a half. Everybody working on that show fought uphill both ways and in the snow for a three second shot of two girlies kissing, because Netflix execs are evil bastards. But. Crucially. Everybody at spop is my beloved comrade and they all had my back. That kiss is In the episode. I just rewatched it at work and had to hold back tears.

Now contrast this with spn. Where misters kripke carver and dabb (and gamble) happily dangled destiel in front of our noses for a decade. With eye-peelingly obvious shit. Like some fruity lil carrot on a stick. And then in the final hour they fumbled the ball so badly that we are still on tumblr posting about it. They literally had the gay angel say I love you and then sent him directly to hell for saying it. Like watching the spop finale soothed some hurt little thing I didn’t even know I had inside me. Witnessing destiel go canon was so baffling and absurd and rage inducing that it Immediately undid all of that. And now. Unfortunately. That hurt little thing inside me is out for fucking blood.

Spop is like reverse destiel. To me.

[seoafin]

this might sound v dumb but you are literally the reason why I started looking at media critically. like when I came on tumblr a few years ago i was sixteen and super into fandom and fanfiction and i think it did a lot of damage to the way i perceive things. and when i got into jjk and found your blog and saw all your gojo "hate" i was really angry lol i kept wanting to block you but at the same time I was really interested in your opinions and so i stuck around and tbh it really made me reflect on the type of media I've been consuming and the way I (and other people) consume it. like it seems so obvious now but back then i would get super defensive whenever anyone would criticise anything I was into. like my entire argument was just "let people enjoy things" 😭 anyway i just wanted to let you know that your posts have actually helped people (such as myself) and that you shouldn't have to feel like you're rambling or forcing us to listen to discourse. I genuinely love listening to your opinions and others do too. ok bye have a nice rest of the week <333

uwaaaaahhahdnjsfdkfuw>:#*(())IEJIOJOeunflsjdd#(I#))#(#@}{::

it's not dumb at all!!!!! im so soooo happy i got you to reconsider your stance on how to consume and interact with media on a healthier level!!! i think it’s really important (especially for the younger teens on here) to be made aware of the more detrimental effects of mindlessly consuming fandom and media since a lot of people are starting younger and younger and don’t quite have that mentality of being able to discern potentially harmful media while still consuming it. it’s either ‘it’s bad don’t watch it!!!’ or ‘it’s just fiction it’s not actually harming anyone!!!’ nuance went out the window! 

fandom IS the wild wild west these days so it’s difficult but i truly do think it is the job of adults to be protecting children (i can’t stand people that unnecessarily hate children for existing) and while that doesn’t mean censoring ourselves i hope ppl ARE taking the necessary precautions to ensure the best. ppl who say ‘let people enjoy things’ when so many things are harmful are the weakest links and will be taken out! i agree that ppl should be able to enjoy things but if one is actively pushing their joy over the harm their fun causes others i think we need to reevaluate!

anyway every time someone sends me a message on how i helped them think more critically im like !!!!!!! just what i wanted!!!! fandom also did irreparable damage to MY psyche LMAO and like i’ve said before im still unlearning harmful behaviors. when i think about all the harmful stuff i’ve internalized myself i think about how bad it must be for kids NOW with little to no limitations on what they can browse and see. honestly just the fact that my words made you reflect makes me incredibly happy!!!

here’s to us <333333

[henriiiii-1001old]

TRYING THIS AGAIN BUT IN A DIFFERENT WAY

OK

hi. mark angst. did this for my english class, kinda old but i like it, so please take it. uuhhhh yeah, hope you enjoy i'm a mess :')

(poem and extra versions under a cut that i hope will be there)

Alone Again with no one to Save me Once More

I rise from my sour grave; Everyone already believes I have passed. I thought so too – I thought it was time for me to move on, Maybe get to see the angels that welcomed me into the kingdom of Heaven. But it seems that the world wants me to suffer an eternal, Agonizing, memorable afterlife. I mean, it’s more interesting than the three days that led up to this moment.

My gun in hand, The thing – that monster outside my door that trapped me in my unfortunate situation, The rush of paranoia constantly coming and going, Coming and going. It all repeated itself for 72 hours straight; My screams never ceased until my last breath of life Leaving my lungs. My praises to the Lord grew less and less and I realized that He wouldn’t save me. No one would. Who knew pulling the trigger would feel so relieving?

Relieving only for the time I was asleep it seemed, awaiting my fate.

I walk on home again, avoiding that room, My room. The bathroom was the second best thing, I thought to myself, And the first thing I saw was my face, My horrid, pitch black face staring back at me. Covered by a large, black square obscuring the damage done to it; I lift my hands to see they’re as black as the censor; My clothes are stained with my own blood.

My tainted hands reach up to my face, grabbing the censor over my face, Pulling any way to just get the horrid thing off. And I see my true face.

The face of a monster.

My corneas pitch black, My irises the same horrid hazel green I’d see every day, My hair greasy and unkempt, Black substance running down my cheeks from my stained eyes, I’m just a mess.

And I realize I’m one of them. Those “Alternates” they called them. I don’t want to be a threat to society! I don’t want to be the downfall of my own kind! I don’t… I don’t want any of this. This must be His doing, The false angel, whispering false blessings Promising false promises to me and me alone.

No one will try to save me now, They’ll think I’m too far gone now. I’m a castaway now, believed to be dead As I should be.

Only one thing is certain now: No one came for me, and no one will.

please let this work tumblr i beg of you-

[dirtytransmasc]

I'm against pedos in rl and fiction. However, I don't care if they simp for Ethan Hawke as the Grabber. I feel it's harsh to judge everyone or throw everyone in one pot. I'm pretty sure not everyone is automatically gross just because they liked The Grabber's character. I also know people that cope with their traumas by "babifying" these type of predators or villains as a way of stripping them of their power. I used to be a bit more strict over people that simp slasher villains or vile criminals but having had some deep talks with abuse victims I changed my mind in this matter. I now try to judge less harshly. I myself still try to stay away from these sorts of media as they make me uncomfortable

I get where your coming from, and I understand the concept but this is my opinion.

first off, and I think this was more my fault for not communicating it correctly, I was talking about the people who are not only sexualizing him it also the kids or his actions. I was also more talking about the people defending themselves with the 'he isn't deal' shtick.

secondly, the majority of his fans (simps more specifically) aren't writing and simping over him in an attempt to heal trauma. some are, I respect that (I do have more to add to this though), but a majority have little to no care for victims of sa/csa.

thirdly, while I am in full support of people with sexually based traumas (as someone with said trauma) using different methods of healing such as writing about the grabber; social impact still needs to be kept in mind. I think writing about a pedophile is still somewhat deplorable, at least to post publicly. it can come across the feeds of minors, other sa/CSA victims, people who could see this as support for their lifestyles, etc. and while it is not necessarily the job of any person to censor themselves, basic online etiquette should be considered. just as someone posting shouldn't have to censor themselves, someone on the internet shouldn't have to stay silent over something that offends them. just like how people say that the freedom of speech doesn't absolve you from public backlash, the same thing sorta applies here. I'm not saying people can't write about him, but I'm saying it doesn't belong in public spaces: it can be kept private, or at least on Tumblr, it can go on a password locked side blog. but even then, there's nuance and things to be taken into consideration there.

fourthly, since most people simply post things without explanation (not saying people should have to, or need to spill their trauma to validate or explain an action), these post have to be taken at face value. how am I supposed to tell the difference between someone posting something because they support him/or don't recognize what he did is wrong, and someone who's posting in an attempt of healing. how can I pick and choose who goes in the pot if they all look the same? that's my thought process.

lastly, a few little things. this is my page and my opinion, personally I don't want anyone with any mildly positive stance on the grabber on my page due to my life experiences. do I truly care to the point that I would condemn anyone past in my own mind, no. when I post about this stuff, I blur names and users, I never slander anyone. I never even target users, if I see a grabber page, I just block them. I shared my opinion, while a bit upset I will be honest, but I don't care all that much. I may post things here and there, but the slander never goes much past a joke or basic criticism, and I never partake in anything targeted at an individual. I don't think anything of that nature is ok, and honestly I don't like people who do that. at the end of the day, people will do with they want, so I'll have the opinions I want, and I think life is a little complex for there to ever be a true blanket statement. that's why I say what I want to say and take whatever consequences I face with little protest.

I'm shit with tone so I hope this doesn't come off as too harsh. I also feel like there were things I wanted to say or clarify but I didn't know exactly how to put them into, so take everything with a grain of salt.

[measureyourlifeincake]

Who is the famous dude who was in your 4th grade class? Spill

ok so the LAST time i complained about a famous person who went to my school on tumblr (this was waaay back in high school) I got anons telling me to kill myself months later and i didnt even tag the dang post so i'm gonna censor his name but. it's ty//*r a//var*z (hopefully that is readable enough while also being unsearchable. im not a tiktok person i dont know how to censor words on the internet)

anyway i am mostly sure that we were in the same class in 4th and 5th grade but all i really remember about him from grade four is that he made a lot of fart and poop jokes that i was really annoyed by but that's pretty much par for the course with 4th grade boys (also i thiiiink we kept going to the same school until he transferred out at some point in hs? but i don't think we were in any classes together after 5th grade, unless i've forgotten something)

but like. my main memories of him from 5th grade are as follows: one time he brought in his macbook for a school project (which, an 11-year-old??? with a laptop???? in 2009?????? unreal privilege imo) and his desktop background was the playboy logo, which, even at that age i knew was Pretty Fucked Up For a Kid

oh also a thing you need to know about me in elementary school was that i had a reputation for being into bunnies and was... kind of bullied for it, which is weird but whatever. (like, i was definitely a weird kid. there were other things to bully me for! and yet, this is why i was targeted. i was as confused by it then as i am now). that being said, one time we had the following conversation —

him: you like bunnies, right? me, extremely wary: ....yeah, why? him: i like bunnies too! my computer background is a bunny :) me: tyler, you do know what... type of bunny that is, right? him: yup :) i like bunnies :)

anyway i recently looked at his wikipedia page and apparently he's gay which has caused me to reflect on this particular incident and be... honestly kind of concerned for him? or at least for the kid that he was. but that doesn't change the fact that he was that type of class clown prick who was constantly mouthing off at the teachers and purposefully annoying me just to get a rise out of me (as many boys like him did; i was, admittedly, easy to get a rise out of) that made me hate him with all the fiery passion that a tiny child could muster (which is a lot)

all of this to say, i have not spoken to this dude in over a decade since he was a prepubescent little dickhead, and we are both now 24 years old. please do not take this as any reflection on his current character. a lot of kids were obnoxious in elementary school. he could very well have grown up to be a very charming and pleasant young man. beyond the recent glance at his wikipedia page, i have made absolutely no effort to keep up with his personal or professional life (he just keeps popping up in shows i watch and it THROWS ME OFF EVERY TIME) so i genuinely have no idea. i hope he's doing well, i guess

this did not stop me from feeling an immense satisfaction when his character got his heart torn out on What We Do in the Shadows

[awed-frog]

Hi, I hope this is ok to ask. I've seen some of your posts on Destiel and wondered when you left the fandom and why? It sounds like it was a long time ago? I ask because I saw so many people so certain about the outcome and then freak out when it ended badly, as it probably always would have. It just made me wonder what the red flags were for you. I saw them myself mainly from the reactions of fellow shippers attacking even those who agreed w/them, but that was very recent. What was it for you?

I don’t know exactly. 

I think I got fed up when the show started to get worse and worse, with tons of weird stuff, bad writing and plot holes and Dean and Cas being virtually strangers, at which point the atmosphere around Destiel-positive meta writers turned sort of messianic. Some people were acting like they *knew*, and they never apologized for getting stuff wrong. Instead, it was either ‘Wait until next week, this is a slow-burn’ or ‘I was actually right, it’s there in the magnificent subtextual clues you are too stupid to see’. There was always only one explanation, one *truth* only that specific person and their friends could uncover, and everyone who disagreed was yelled out of the circle. There was a gradual cleaning out of the tags until all ‘negativity’ (ie, all forms of criticism) were filtered out, and endless circle-jerky activities to reinforce the ‘right’ opinions. One good example of this is how surveys suddenly multiplied and how they all got the same kind of results - either because only some fans (the ‘right’ kind) cared enough to take part or because of actual manipulation (I once saw someone reblogging their survey like ‘Signal boost! This has too many [wrong] answers! We need more people with [right] opinions!!’. 

At the same time, I started getting more and more messages from people who were disappointed with the show but were afraid to speak out, or felt stupid for not ‘seeing’ and ‘understanding’ where the story was (allegedly) going. Finally, it got to a point where a single bad episode, and the endless ‘No, but you see?? This actually supports [right] opinion!’ posts that came with it would ruin my mood for an entire week. At that point, thank God, a few people both on tumblr and IRL stepped in and were like ‘Dude, wtf? Just get out’, so I did.

As for the dates, I joined tumblr around S10 and stopped watching during S13 (I think; I don’t even remember what S13 was about, so it’s hard to be sure).

I think the main reasons why I ignored those red flags for so long are:

The way social media are built, how you’re stuck inside your bubble, start getting addicted to the number of followers and likes and asks, feel *important* and *liked*, slowly learn to self-censor so you can fit in; and also the infinity scrolling, the activity log, the ‘Someone is wrong on the internet’ syndrome, hate mail and trolls and seeing friends and mutuals getting doxxed for wrongthink.

I was actively trying to drown. My life back then was a nightmare. Obsessing over a show was way better than being alone with my thoughts, and getting mad at some nobody on tumblr created the right amount of emotion to bury everything else. Looking back, it all seems idiotic. I knew it could happen, I’d read about it, I’d seen it happen IRL, and yet it still happened to me. It sounds stupid, but if you build yourself a cage to stay safe, you end up getting trapped.

I’m sure there are people who get to enjoy fandom in the right way - I even know some of them. They find friends, enjoy the content they see and create, can treat the whole thing as a harmless hobby. Personally, I find bubbles of any kind very bad for my life and my mental health, mostly because they’re inevitably dominated by those who spend a long time in there - generally extremists and weirdos. The option we now have to filter out opinions we don’t like - that’s how radicalizing works. It sounds overdramatic, but there’s a direct link between those fans who were so shocked by the SPN finale they’re now believing conspiracy theories and everyone else - the QAnon people, the anti-vaxxers, teenage gamers who’re sucked into the alt-right, unhappy Muslims recruited by ISIS - it’s always the same process. Talk often, talk loudly, talk with authority, cut people off other sources, make people feel special because they’re the only ones who understand and promise them the Good Thing is coming. Sometimes cult leaders know exactly what they’re doing; other times they’re just deluded, narcissistic, charismatic people with too much time on their hands who legit believe what they’re saying and don’t realize the damage they’re doing, but the playbook is exactly the same. When it comes to the SPN fandom, I heard many stories similar to mine, and I hope people who find themselves overgrieving after that awful finale will soon get their own ‘Dude, wtf? Just get out’ moment and take that advice. There’s a whole world out there, and it’s not half bad.

[woeismyhoe]

Spill the tea, what's the deal with you and the BSG group (avatar-chang and her squad in particular)?

Ok anon, sorry for taking so long! I wanted to get everything right and honestly collecting the posts took a longass time xD

Anyways, the only ones I have a problem there are avatar-chang, hexful/dykesia/bizukos, catrademption, cardboardseagulls (never seen interacted b4) and bizulas (also never interacted b4).

I’m going to be really transparent about this whole thing so it’s gonna be long as there’s gonna be several links and I’ve included the dates so it’ll be easier to understand. Since I’ll be fully transparent about this, i’ll probably get hate or whatever. Honestly, I just want to put everything out there without being biased or hiding anything. I’m going to disclose everything here.

So, the whole thing between me and avatar-chang started off with this post I made last year on 10 March 2019. Afterwards, she PMed me on the same day and this was the conversation:

After that, I thought the argument was over because she blocked me lmao. The only ones I spoke to about this was nbw and my real life friends (who had nothing to do with ATLA lmao I just ranted to them).

And then the next incident I think was on 16 March 2019 when I made this post about Azula’s abuse of her friends. I was new and 16. I genuinely wanted to know why people labeled Azula as an abuser. It was dykesia who responded to me at the time.

Now, unlike avatar-chang, I had a few conversations with dykesia (who was bizukos then) that was generally civil. I first interacted with her when she made a post calling out Zucest shippers or something?? I was very new. Like fresh newbie baby ATLA tumblr fan new lmao so I thought what she said was too aggressive. I didn’t realize that there were actual Zucest shippers until after some time. And then she PMed me on 13 March 2019, saying that she doesn’t always agree on characters with me but I do write some interesting pieces on Azula— that she’s a huge fan of Azula but she just tends to stay away from her fandom. I apologized about the previous incident of the Zucest thing and it was fine after then. We talked about zuko, the fandom, the comics, Mai etc etc. I thought we were on fine terms.

And then I made a post about the cliff scene in the comics on 16 March 2019. Avatar-Chang made a post that was pretty directed at the post but it seems like she’s deleted it.

On 17 March 2019, I received an anon mail telling me that avatar-chang was talking shit about me behind my back. I censored her name then because I didn’t want to believe without any evidence. No one sent me any screenshots about it so I just dismissed it.

On the same day, avatar-chang answered an anon and talked about the 13 child post theory I made on 9 March.

On 23 April 2019, I received another anon mail about avatar-chang, asking if I’d seen the post she made about Azula. I censored her name again cuz I didn’t want to start any shit over having differing opinions. I’m assuming this is the post the anon was referring to.

On 28 April 2019, dykesia/hexful/bizukos PMed me to ask if I was talking shit about other people behind their backs, and her. I denied this because I hadn’t. This was how the conversation went:

Yes, I didn’t censor any name because as I said, full transparency. I have afp blocked because we’ve clashed several times and he’d still come for my posts last year despite already being blocked. If you’ve followed me long enough, you probably would’ve rmbered that time lmao

Anyways during then, I don’t think I realized that dykesia was actually being passive aggressive. It’d been barely a year since I started the blog and I just didn’t want to full out make enemies. Reading the messages now tho lmao she really was passive aggressive. But yeah then she said this in bsg so I don’t even know why she bothered to ask me if she wasn’t even going to consider believing me.

The 9th of June 2019 was the last time she messaged and it was to ask if I mind her discoursing this Zuko post while ‘hard and drunk’. It was the first time she could apparently agree with me so it was I quote a ‘Yay??’. Afterwards I don’t know when she did it but she blocked me lmao

On 17 July 2019, I received another anon mail telling me that avatar-chang publicly called me a bitch when she was answering an anon about me posting the scans of the EK Chronicles. She mentioned this in bsg again on 19 April 2020 lmao (she’s that petty) it seems:

On November 8 2019, an anon (one of avatar-chang’s friends actually) asked about my thoughts towards the allegations against Aaron Ehasz. I still believe in the system of ‘Innocent before proven guilty’, so I didn’t side with anyone. I tried to be as objective as possible. When I said that I hoped men would also come forward, I said that because I don’t want men to just sit on the sidelines and let the women get the heat if they were telling the truth. At the end of this whole thing, I concluded that Ehasz was a dick of a boss to the girls. Being called an abuser carries more weight than just being a dick. Everyone has been a dick at one point, but being an abuser is something else. Just because Ehasz was a dick doesn’t mean I’m going to stop watching TDP or dismiss his involvement in ATLA.

The next day, BSG brought the issue up despite both avatar-chang having already blocked me by then lmao

On 5 February 2020, after Legacy of the Fire Nation came out, I made a post calling out Iroh’s bs to Azula (guy literally blames Azula for everything that happened to Zuko (something which avatar-chang agrees with apparently, and Iroh even sees Ozai in a better light).

That’s so far what I’ve remembered that involved avatar-chang and dykesia.

Moving on to the next three attackers: catrademption, cardboardseagulls and bizulas.

I’ve seen catrademption around, but I don’t remember if we’ve clashed before. We must have though cuz she’s got me blocked lmao and I mostly only debate back to people when they reply to my posts. For cardboardseagulls and bizulas, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them them before but obviously they’ve seen my blog and misinterpreted everything I’ve written.

But according to them, I’m apparently a Azula apologist, extremist, irrational, toxic, coddles and woobifies Azula, justifies everything she does and invalidates abuse victims.

You can see the posts I’ve made to judge whether I actually am an irrational Azula apologist who blames everything on Zuko. One of the most recent posts I made about Azula’s character is this, and there’s still several more posts like that. Just search #meta or #analysis in my blog search and all of them will just pop up. I can assure you, I have never acted as if Azula has done nothing wrong or did everything right or whatever lies these people are spewing.

If anyone has proof that I’ve talked shit about people in the fandom to other people before, please, present your evidence. I highly think this is impossible because I actually don’t have many friends on Tumblr, nor do I usually initiate conversation because I’m awkward af.

I’ve also tried approaching those I recognized in bsg to find out more about the situation (and at least give my side of the story). Most of them have chosen not to speak to me LMAO but one of them who’s chosen to remain anonymous for their privacy, admitted that dykesia (hexful) forced them to block a blog before (after realizing they were interacting with said blog) and if not, they would be blocked themselves. I can’t post the conversation publicly because they’re afraid their speech mannerism will give away their identity. @space-sword has also shared his experience with avatar-chang on his blog and was pressured to cut off ties with ppb21 just to join the oh so magnificent Ba Sing Gay.

There’s absolutely no reason to judge someone based on their sexual orientation, race, color or age either. They rant about being discriminated against or being generalized or stereotypes but they’re the ones hypocritically committing these actions, and then justify their actions by saying ‘we’re oppressed, they’re not, so it’s not racism or discrimination’. And yet people still wonder why discrimination is still rampant LMAO

I can’t speak for the blogs they victimized in bsg, but I personally don’t agree with talking shit about them on a public server and then criminalizing them as if they’re actually predators. I also don’t agree with involving the blogs’ friends simply because of their association. I also don’t agree with demanding people to block blogs they don’t like because that’s just pure manipulation. That’s wrong and marginalizing people. Unless someone has actually been harassing or literally preying on people, then there’s no reason to actually go around warning blogs about them unless they’re asked about it.

If they feel uncomfortable about something? Then avoid that blog, filter their tags or even block that blog if they’re that uncomfortable—BUT they shouldn’t demand others to do the same just for their own benefit. It’s not up to them to decide what a person can or cannot see or who they can or cannot interact with. They’re not their parents, and they obviously have no right to pressure people into doing things they don’t want to. If they think it tactless that I shared the conversations? Oh honestly, a line was crossed when they spread shit about me so idc. If they actually feel terrible for being called out? GOOD. That’s what they should feel, because in no way was any of what they were doing right or justified. If they’re going to shit on me then expect to be burned because I’m not someone who’ll just shrivel in fear because they have a bigger following.

[maybeimwierd]

Mastermind!Danganronpa edits 2 explained!

This is the explanation for design choices in my 2nd batch of mastermind edits you can find right over here so I hope you all enjoy

7. Kokichi Ouma

Fun fact I actually started on this edit in the middle of Father’s Day which is kokichis birthday and I finished it early morning the next day, also I did the sketch in a car because I was coming home from a family members house right after I started it. Of course I like red buttons hehe so I have them to him, his outfit is mostly white so I changed his sleeves to be black and I made his pants to be red with those weird straps black. I love that I gave him face paint but it’s kinda hard to see the white part, I was going to color half his face black instead of white but I realized it could be taken as racist which I am not (ok when I say it like that I sound like I’m in denial but I swear I’m not) but of course red monokuma eye around the characters left eye hehe

8. Tenko Chabashira

Hers was actually the first edit that I actually redrew the whole sprite rather than putting stuff over it so you can tell my skill gets better after this one! I actually had originally thought up the headband first and I wanted to make the base red so I made the monokuma eye be pink which honestly is cuter and I made her hair ties be pink to match! I made her weird green hair thingys be black and white because monokuma also they are fun to color then I made her choker black. I decided to replace her cropped uniform shirt with a sports bra which is something women usually wear when they workout at the gym also hehe hoohoo it’s red with a nice black and white trim! I think adding a third layer to her skirt makes it looks puffier and cuter so I’m glad I did that hehe!

9. Kazuichi Soda

There is actually a cancelled draft of Kazuichi! The way I do these edits is by asking my buds over on Crackganronpa (a Dr discord server) who they want to see as a mastermind next, the owner requested Kazuichi but I didn’t want to do the method I did with Tenko because I felt it took way too long so I tried to do my color over method but it was too complicated due to his hair and I had spent around 2 hours just trying to color his hair white so I cancelled him and told them “I’m willing to continue on Kazuichi but if I do then I’m starting over” and they really wanted to see him so I redrew his sprite also so now you all have this Kazuichi! I liked the idea of him dying his hair again if he was a mastermind (because he canonically dyes his hair pink) and I liked coloring his hat black because it matched the white. I decided to color his jumpsuit red and give it pink accents but I colored his shirt last minute and if I was thinking I would have made it black, I had fun replacing the logo on his jumpsuit and making those buttons! I have 2 fun facts about that hammer he has there, it’s actually a large recolored version of the hammer I gave to Mastermind!Angie, the second fun fact is that I actually was listening to Sonias voice lines while doing the hammer. Adding onto that last fun fact when doing the lines for the face I was listening to Ibuki’s voice lines and was listening to Celeste’s voice lines while coloring the suit.

10. Chihiro Fujisaki

This one is truly where I have peaked in design (well for now, don’t know when I’ll strike genius again) so I’m very proud of this Chihiro and my Angie! I’ll start with saying that CHIHIRO IS NOT A TRANS GIRL THAT IS A FACT THEY LITTERALLY WERE BULLIED INTO BEING A GIRL so I gave him some super cool pants and it was fun drawing that belt! I took away his overcoat so you can see his dress shirt and I replaced the coat with a super cool cape!!!! It was fun to come up how the cape is layered the left side going over the right side with a part on top. This was a idea I loved so much and wanted to put on a edit (right under using that cape idea) which is the big Ol fairy flower hat! His design was lowkey based off fantasy things! I felt the design needed one more thing so I lightly airbrushed his face to give him a sickly and sort of pale look. This was also the edit that I started adding the fabric overlay on

11. Korekiyo Shinguji

Now this one! This is a doozy! Lots of little details here and there but first things first, if Korekiyo was a mastermind he would definitely have trinkets here and there from the dead students (also in these mastermind universes the person who is the mastermind in the game they are from dies instead of them) so feel free to guess what thing belongs to who! I believe Korekiyo would want to dress liek the original mastermind and it was fun to give him big pigtails like her, he is wearing a ripped sleeve from one of the dead students (won’t specify but it was hard to get it from under where it was from) and the tie is from another student instead like the one the original dr1 mastermind wore and the little buttons are from other students, the gloved hand is ripped as a little detail and I think that Korekiyo could definitely rocks a skirt! This is truly my husband heehee

12. Yasuhiro Hagakure

This edit came into my home and pissed on my clothes then shit in my sink I am not proud of this one at all just like Kaito (if the 18th mastermind sucks I think that makes it a pattern) so here’s why. I was going to do this like the others but I didn’t want to spend hours tracing the lines for his hair so I just added some bear ears and a monokuma eye over his left one. I changed the yellow from his shirt and pants string to be a nice red and I made the inside of his jacket use the pattern I originally made for Kaito! Yay recycling. Fun fact I was listening to a He///va B//s BLM charity stream (I censored I don’t want fans of the series to come across this in the tag due to how tumblr works and they might get spoiled) also the sprite I used actually was sweaty faced so I removed it to make him look smug. I also removed his stubble because if he was betraying his friends he definitely would wanna look nice for it. The pattern used for Kaito and Yasuhiro is downloadable in the previous explanation post for use!

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: port draavos / 3.23.20

and now for something different: the misadventures of the hope’s guard

so for the past 3 years ive been in an ongoing dnd5e campaign run by michael called Explorers of Arvus, which is super cool and super fun and i love it a whole lot! and back when i used twitter, i’d liveblog our sessions and that ended up being my way of note taking bc im otherwise quite terrible at it

after i stopped using twitter, that had the side effect of me not keeping notes anymore, so i kind of didnt remember any of the past couple sessions? especially because its hard for all 6 of us to have like, schedules that make sense, so there’s a lot of distance between each session.

and then i realized i can just take notes shitpost-liveblog style and then just… like, put it on tumblr or whatever. i’ll probably make like, ill probably port over my old liveblog threads onto here sometime but until then: we played d&d today! Time For Shenanigans

some quick context: we’re called the Hope’s Guard, but our unofficial silly name is Chunch Bunch the Dungeon Master is Michael aka Skalter aka @openlyeight​ Taure M’ea is a half-elf paladin played by Penn aka @penn-name​ and she is doing her best. Sieron Astora is a human (secretly half-orc) wizard played by Jorb aka @jorbs-palace​ and he’s basically the protagonist, and also starting to be gay for Charlie Charlie Wickfield is a halfling wild magic sorcerer played by Leos aka us and she’s known for being very chaotic, lighting things on fire, and having a high charisma score but no idea how to articulate anything Thorne is a half-orc warlock played by Solar aka @craftlands​ and he grew up in nonsense land aka the feywild and i love him, and also he’s fine-tuned to be able to snipe the shit out of anything within a 600 ft radius of him w/ eldritch blast Silje Cottonwood is a tabaxi blood hunter played by Nyx aka @patheticnyas​ and he is very edgy but also a cat and is VERY gay for Thorne our general goal is to stop some motherfucker called Halvkar / the God-King from… i dunno, being a huge bitch? he dumped zombies all over Arvus and that’s a problem. its late at night and i just played d&d for several hours

AND SO: WE PLAYED D&D FOR THE FIRST TIME OF THE DECADE

last time:

chunch bunch beat up the cult and now we’re FINALLY GOING TO ARVUS, YALL (also we picked up a cat) (his name is silly. its silje but literally pronounced like “silly”) sieron hatched a child! so like, we have a lil coatl friend now OH RIGHT SIERON HAS A MOM. sierons mom is here charlie and sieron attempted to have a gay scene but charlie went off script by being “[internal dial up noises]” when sieron said something really heartwarming we’re in fort draavos! and now we’re picking up sidequests and just kinda wanderin around. woo!

NOW, ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS:

thorne and charlie discuss the morals of necromancy, and also the concept of “[charlie voice] necromancy racism”

EVERYONE IS BONDING WITH CHARLIE TODAY taure gave charlie the rune of wound closure and told her to stay safe and im :keralisweep:

accidentally started a cutscene bc charlie is very loud in a temple, oop. some priests(?) glared at us and walked off and im sure they wont stab us later! ingrid the adorkable friend has been having reoccuring nightmares about a dark figure w/ black robes standing above a bleeding platform high in the air over a swamp and summoning undead, so we’re gonna go hit that up! it MIGHT be like, a vision of the past, but even if so thats still pretty relevant also there’s a cool half orc lady named undril silvertusk who we’re gonna escort to camp vengeance! she’s awesome

thorne: i was in a dungeon once charlie: you got better! thorne: [points] i DID get better!

summer: can i roll to steal the laser gun? michael: if you find the dragon, you can try to steal the laser gun.

solar: guys, we have to protect the lesbians at all costs. and if one of them turns out to be an ancient gold dragon and curses my dick, then so be it

taure: dont worry, i wont let you die. ingrid: …okay :D!

THE HOT SPRINGS EPISODE IS FINALLY HAPPEN sorry thorne. charlie dabbed at a buff tiefling charlie is too fucking short for the hot springs. also she’s like 50% hair so she is Dying

time for food! we ran into an adventuring party that is apparently based off one michael was part of in another campaign, and i think the buff tiefling is his? also taure ordered samples of everything and then got Super plastered

thorne rolled really good to infodump hardcore about arvus artifacts and it is cute and id die for him oop michael asked for all our passive perception

omg theres an introduction of a ~mysterious character~ and originally theyre supposed to just sneak off but then michael realized they’d be genuinely interested in thorne’s infodumping so now theyre just Lurking

the opposite of a slow burn is a fast explosion

[everyone gets distracted quoting realtime fandub]

oops taure is depressed! ALSO SHE BROKE UP WITH SIGRA??? charlie is VERY bad at emotional support so she’s just “uhhhhhhhhh”, but thankfully thorne catches her before she faceplants into her potatoes CAN ANY OF US CARRY TAURE??? SHE’S IN FULL ARMOUR AND ALSO PASSED OUT

michael: what do you do with the bottle? summer: eat it

charlie get haircut! WITH SWORDS. her hair is now like midway down her back so its like, a bit shorter than when she first met everybody silje: do you want this [the hair he cut off]? charlie: UH WHAT WOULD I .. DO WITH IT… silje: …make a rope? charlie: yknow what i might as fucking well, who knows if id need spare hair

penn: i dont think taure is horny tho! summer: ITS OK, SILJE IS HORNY ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US

michael: Sieron, Str of 10- action hero Thorne, str of 14- twink nyx: silly, str of 13- cat solar: i guess thorne is a hunk. michael: thorne is a twunk summer: the t in thorne stands for twunk

taure, extremely drunk and sad: CHARLIE IM SORRY I MADE YOU BURN DOWN THAT LIBRARY (sieron and thorne carried her to bed and she ended up apologising a whole lot about literally everything)

jorb/sieron wants to know if charlie’s hair has any lingering wild magic nonsense!

thorne’s staring out the window! and also discord kept censoring solar when they were trying to say that THIS ENTIRE AREA IS WITHIN THORNE’S RANGE. solar: i could shoot someone at the thundering boar tavern [from our tavern] jorb: [as thorne] WRONG TAVERN, IDIOT!

solar called soldier:76 a cornfucker and it blindsided me so hard

michael: silje cottonwood, dark edgy blood hunter. [flops over on camera] NOTICE MEEEEEEEE

WE’RE NOW MAKING NONSTOP FORT DRAAVOS PUNS. i had to go clean pepper’s litter and when i came back they were STILL GOING

thorne pets silje on accident bc silje ws doing an anime squat on the balcony’s railing and is now having a crisis of “is it appropriate to pet the furry?” AND ALSO SILLY IS VERY SOFT

jorb & michael: [say something cursed] summer: [looking around frantically] I DONT HAVE AN IMPROVISED WEAPON solar: Allow Me. [brandishes baseball bat on camera]